We’re so stuck on starting. New Year’s resolutions. The to-do list. The first meeting of the day. The first action of the day before the first meeting of the day. How will I begin? How will I begin again? Starting is hard. We have to go from a state of pause, steady, inertia, not moving, then think something or respond to something or plan something that sets action in motion.
In our careers, we wonder:
“How will I begin the job search (again)?”
“How will I begin to get buy-in for a project or funding for professional development that’s important to me?”
“How will I begin to talk to my manager about my desired salary increase or the pay gap?”
“How will I begin to learn the skills I need to be successful in my career?”
Out with Starts, In with Stops
But, what about the stopping point?
While I don’t love when someone gets onto a work call and says, “I have a hard stop at 3.”, or starting a meeting talking about stopping when we haven’t even had a conversation yet, I have to respect the boundary and expectation setting. There are also soft stops that are less abrupt but more like light transitions to something next, related, or a continuation, and those also count! (Think jumping from one Zoom meeting with a smaller group to prepare for the bigger meeting to the bigger meeting on a different Zoom call.)
Lately, I’ve been noticing I’ve been stopping more often than I have been starting. I’ve been stopping a period of work so that I could shift to my family focus. I’ve been stopping a meeting on time so I can get to the other tasks I need to throughout the day.
This week I joined a meeting with a client where I planned to run-through a workshop I’d designed for their female leaders on Breaking the Barriers to Meaningful Connection at Work to deliver later this week. When I learned in the first few minutes of the call that their company made an announcement about a large layoff that morning, I stopped.
I reframed. I checked in. I could hear the disappointment and sadness for their colleagues on the call, and it required that we stop what we were doing. We talked about how they were feeling and what the impact of this decision was on their work and their colleagues’ lives, and their workforce’s morale. We stopped our plan for this week’s workshop, and decided to give their team time and to come back to it in a few weeks to revisit the topic and make a new plan that would benefit their team that is needing more support than learning. More care than direction. More reflection than output.
And, today, I stop my work week to hop on a plane tomorrow for a family trip.
Is there power in stopping?
Have you ever been so headstrong, so driven, so committed to completing something that you blocked everything else out? Yes, there is a benefit to being goal-oriented, and being in a state of flow and sometimes we need to go with the flow!
But, what happened when I kept hitting my head against the wall trying every humanly possible way to get a new role on a new team in a different discipline within a company? I burnt myself out. My health suffered. And, I had blinders on. I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t hearing the feedback I was getting and the signs to explore new opportunities to partner with that company as a contractor AND get to work with other companies too. Then, I stopped. I stopped the churn, the cycle, the relentlessness. I got relief. I let others’ advice in a bit more. I could hear myself clearer. I explored options and was able to make the right decision to start my business, Opportunities Knock, to design and deliver curriculum for individuals, teams, and organizations building meaningful careers. Download my Services Catalog here to explore ways we can partner.
What happened when I stopped working when I had seemingly long to-do list to get a pedicure? I balanced my day with self-care.
What happened when I stopped working with a client because it didn’t feel right, despite my internal struggle and hopes that it would? It opened up space for me to focus on the right kind of work and clients, and it freed up time and space for them to hire the right partners too who were 100% in partnership.
What happened when I stopped trying to pack so much learning into one workshop or leadership development learning experience? The group had time to think about one or two simple concepts, time to collaborate and discuss, and breathing room to process the new ideas being presented. I also had more time to listen to the group, read the room, and focus on the group dynamics so everyone felt included and engaged.
What happened when I declared my KNOCK career development book manuscript done and stopped editing and rereading and writing? It felt great to share my ideas with the world (rather than keep them saved on my computer or to the Cloud), and yes, it was published as a snapshot in time. But, guess what? It’s still ever-relevant in today’s economic climate. And, I wrote a bonus chapter that is coming out soon to account for world, economic, and business changes I’ve experienced since then.
Stopping feels uncomfortable. It feels abrupt, sometimes premature, and sometimes like quitting or not following through. Starting something and not finishing it in one sitting can feel frustrating.
But, what happens in the space between stopping one thing, and stopping the next?
We live. We breathe. We reground. We get ideas. We become creative. We create boundaries. We move on to the next thing. We slow down. We listen better, to others and ourselves.
In your career, at work, and in your life, where do you find yourself stopping and what are you gaining as a result? What are you doing that you would feel some relief from if you stopped? If the guilt or doubt starts to creep in that you stopped too soon or before you were ready? Think about what happened on the other end of that stop. Lean into the stop. Stop, drop, and roll.
Interested in bringing career and leadership development learning experiences with ideas like this to your team to increase productivity, support, wellbeing, and connectivity and collaboration? Reach out or request a workshop!
