Are You Fueled by Passion or by Should’s?

The beginning of the year can feel daunting. We have twelve months ahead of us to attempt to get to some destination(s) or achieve some goals — if we even have visibility that far ahead and up. Maybe our goals are to define our goals because we can’t move forward until we know where to put our feet. And we’ll get an idea of where to put our feet when we have some sign, some indication, some feeling, some proof, some calling, some reassurance that we should go in a direction. Sometimes our career direction is determined by external expectations. Other times, we’re in the driver’s seat. Are you fueled by passion or by “should’s”? Here are three zones I identified that are building blocks to a meaningful career. Which one are you in and where are you headed?

The Un-Selective Zone: Sometimes, we’re pulled in a direction because we feel we can do a good job there. We have the skills that someone needs, and so we say, “I can do that, so I will, or I should.” This zone has value because applying our skills in a place where it’s needed can build confidence, which makes us feel good, and experience. It can also make us money, which we need to make ends meet.

The Limiting Beliefs Zone: Sometimes we’re pulled in a direction by external forces. The money. The title. The (perceived) influence. Our family thinks we should or that’s what’s best for us. Sometimes we are uncertain, so we go with what the external world tells us we should do. In other words, it’s what we think we need because others think it’s what we need. Sometimes we do need the pull from others, and the validation, and external signals that we’re going in the right direction. But what do WE think about ourselves? Where do WE want to go? We can live in this zone for a long time, especially when we get reassurance in the form of money and positive testimonials on our work and promotions, even, if these are motivating factors. This is a zone where we can apply our skills, get external validation, and make ends meet.

The Thriving Zone: The Un-Selective Zone and The Limiting Beliefs Zone give us proof that our skills are needed, and others feel we’re needed, and financial compensation for our skills and our demand – these are critical data points. But, we must consider our own desires, needs, and warm-and-fuzzies to determine steps in the direction of a meaningful career. What are our values? What is missing from the work or the environment that makes you feel like you’re falling flat, or doesn’t give you that buzz that your morning coffee does? Can you identify what’s pulling you, and nudging you closer to an opportunity or to move in the direction of a meaningful career, one where you’re thriving?

Making a decision to apply our skills and fulfill what others need is not always the same as what we want. And what we want may not be aligned to what we feel called to do.

This year, I challenge you to look inward to discover what is pulling you. Where you don’t have to push. Where you feel your best, and therefore, make the biggest impact on the world around you. Here are some ways to follow the pull up and over the Meaningful Career Summit to a place where you’re thriving:

1. Fill Your Skills Gap: If the skills you’re applying to your job right now are in demand and needed, but the work doesn’t excite you, think about what skills do excite you and find creative ways to get them. (Create a new project where you try out new skills, read or listen to podcasts, take a class, volunteer to get experience.)

2. Block Out External Voices (Temporarily): Make a list of what others think you do well, should do, or expect you to do. Then, go down the list and circle the ones that excite you and that you agree with, and cross out the others (for now). Add things you want to do or that excite you and circle those too. Only focus on the circles. Listen to your own voice. And politely thank them for their opinion.

3. Be Practical with Your Desires: If you continue to convince yourself that you could never do what you really want to do because of a running list of responsibilities, address that. Make a table with two vertical columns. On the left column, list your responsibilities (Make $X/year to sustain my family, have 1 hour/day during lunch to eat/walk the dog/take care of house work), then on the left side, do some research to find out if other roles/companies/careers would enable you to meet these responsibilities. Put in the work to actually find out if your limiting beliefs are accurate, or if you were making decisions or closing doors based on limited data at the time.

4. Talk to Other Meaningful Careerists: Talk to people who appear to be thriving in their careers. Ask them if this is true or if that’s simply your external perception. If they feel their desires, values, internal/external needs are aligned, ask them how they made life changes to get to that alignment, and what changes they navigated on the way.

So, which zone are you currently in? Are you still skill building, gaining external validation and feeling in-demand? Are you feeling like your work is valued, but perhaps you still have room to grow to value yourself by letting the passion and excitement pull you in and up? Challenge yourself to figure out what’s missing in the quest to building a meaningful career and go after it!